How long have I been a photographer? I don’t know if I truly know how to answer that?
I’ve had cameras for as long as I can remember.Me and my dad were like best friends when I was young. He’d take me everywhere with him and remembered everything with a camera. Today we have hundreds of photos he keeps in draws and boxes and folders and even more undeveloped rolls of film. He shot me right up until I was seven archive up on archive and when I was 7 my younger brother joined us and was a another character in our stories shot on film. When I was maybe 11 my mum brought a digital point and shoot and I’d always steal it and take photos with it. I was always getting into trouble when I was caught using it without asking and so life went on until one birthday my god mother gave me some money on my birthday and I spent it all on my first little digital point an shoot. And so it began.The question “What makes someone a photographer” boggles me. I don’t know how to answer it. Its the same with modelling ..I guess you’re never really a proper model until your paid to do it. So I guess I’ll go off that.
Since I brought my first camera I’ve never been without one. EVER. At school you could always bet I had a camera stashed in my bag and I’d make videos and take pictures with my friends during our lunch and break times. Such fun and years I have saved and documented right though til our finishing year. During college I had my first experience photographing with a digital slr and I loved it. I studied graphic design in college but was unable to do a photography course but I don’t regret it. I learnt so much from that course that I use in my every day life. I knew I needed a digital slr for uni and my boyfriend gave me one as a anniversary present the summer before I started.
I still don’t feel like a photographer. I feel hungry, hungry to be better everyday. I think my desire to want to be better can sometimes rival with the love I have for photography itself. In the last two years alone I’ve pushed myself and my cameras. I think aside from the payment you only know when you deserve the title for something. One day I might feel that I’ve earnt it.
People don’t see the work photographers put in behind the scenes of a shoot whether it be self portraiture or with models. My photos are pictures I’ve created in my head long before anyone ever sees them. From the location, to the costume, the makeup, the styling, the poses , the mood. People don’t see when im up at 3 in the morning painstakingly on the phone to my bestfriend planning routes to our location or the hours and time I spend on the phone to my Mua creating our art. Ours. So when I have people that come to my shoot and take photos without permission of the vision that I, my Mua, hairstylist and designers have created to take pictures and then glorify them is insulting to me. Its like me copying a painting of the mona Lisa and saying yep that art is mine only it really isn’t ? Not really. Some may not agree with this but it’s my opinion.
“some of my sisters natural hair friends have blogs. Not all of them have met me. One of them was showing my picture to my sister on her blog. “this girl looks like you don’t you think?!”my sister replied “that’s cos shes my sister” looool cray”—
“I don’t think anyone actually understands LOOL I want my hair cut nowwww the tapered cut looks sooooo flyyy. I haven’t seen it on anyone across the hair types that it doesn’t look good on it looks good on everyone. I want it nowwww. Imagine my hairdresser the only person I trust with my hair is on holiday for TWO MONTHS. I’m in physical pain”—